


Powerless

by GarrettCRW



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4479368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarrettCRW/pseuds/GarrettCRW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after "Helpless". Quentin Travers claimed that Buffy would return to normal after her Cruciamentum, but it's been five days with no change. What does this mean for our heroine?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Buffy and all related characters are property of Fox, not me. I'm just playing in the sandbox.

For the fifth day in a row after her Cruciamentum, Buffy woke up sore, weak, and tired. And when she plodded into the bathroom to get ready for school, Buffy noticed with a frightened sigh that her bruises her also largely unhealed. The rest of her preparation for school was a blur, as the Slayer brushed off her now-worried mother and just about everything else (including Willow and Xander, who instantly knew that something was wrong with their friend) until she reached the library. "Giles?"

"Yes, Buffy?" answered the ex-Watcher as he rushed from his office to greet her. Upon seeing her still-bruised face and sullen expression, "Are you alright?"

"Why am I still normal?" was the Slayer's response in a small, frightened voice.

Giles hugged Buffy as a father would his daughter, and felt his heart break as she started crying. "I-I don't know. I'll try and contact the Council, and see if I can find out what's wrong."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Buffy smiled wanly. "Thank you."

After Buffy had left, the recently fired Watcher swore violently (yet silently) before retreating back to his office. There were many calls to be made this morning, and Giles feared the worst.


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours had passed, and Giles felt as if he was mostly getting nowhere in his attempts to find out what might be wrong with Buffy. Slumped over his desk with his jacket off and his glasses in his hands, the librarian was reaching the point of exhaustion. Between getting the runaround from half his contacts, and outright being hung up on by the others, Giles was starting to realize that he had few true friends in the Watcher's Council….as if the last two years hadn't proved that time and again.

Currently, Giles was on hold, waiting for that pompous jackass Quentin Travers to deign him with a response. To pass the time, he was trying to glean any information from his copies of past Watchers' Diaries, but he was starting to suspect that they had been edited in matters relating to the Council. And frankly, based on his recent experience, Giles wasn't about to put anything past them anymore.

After some indeterminate period of time, Giles heard a slight jump in his phone connection before the voice of Travers made itself known in typically arrogant form. "Hello, Rupert? Sorry to keep you waiting for so long."

 _Like bollocks you are_ , thought Giles as he gritted his teeth while putting his glasses back on.

Not getting the suck-up answer that he'd apparently been hoping for, Travers continued. "Anyways, we've been looking into your problem, and we think we have the answer. However, you may want to sit down before we tell you."

"I'm already sitting, thank you," answered Giles curtly.  _Arrogant prat_.

"Very well, then," replied the head of the Watchers' Council. "According to our research, it appears that 'Buffy' has suffered a rare reaction to the injections you gave her, and has permanently lost her powers as the Slayer."

Giles was beyond furious. He shot up out of his seat and shouted violently into the phone. " **WHAT**?!"

"I'm afraid that there's no other answer," replied Quentin with a barely-concealed amount of taunting in his voice. While the Council of course apologizes to Miss Summers for the incredible inconvenience she has been put under-"

" **INCONVENIENCE**?!" raged Giles. "This young woman has had her entire life turned upside down! She has  **died**! I think what has happened to her qualifies as far more than an 'inconvenience'!"

"That will be quite enough, Mister Giles!" scolded Travers. "As far as the Watchers' Council is concerned, both you and Miss Summers are of no further consequence, and any attempts to interfere with the actual Slayer from here on out shall be treated with no tolerance."

And with that curt declaration, the call was over.

With his frustration now at a peak, Giles slammed the receiver down angrily before slamming both fists hard onto the top of his desk. After a few deep breaths, he settled on a course of action, and dialed a familiar phone number. "Hello, Faith? It's Mr. Giles. I need you to come here as soon as you can. It's urgent. I'll explain as soon as you arrive. Thank you."

With a quick press of the hook, Giles made another call. "Hello? I'm doing fine, thank you. Can you have Buffy Summers summoned to the library at once, please? Yes, it's rather urgent. She accidentally left some important medication behind in the library. Yes, I'm sure that Principal Snyder objects, but the matter  **is**  important. Oh. Yes, I can understand that sentiment. Thank you." Having summoned both the current and former Slayer, Giles slumped back into his chair, wondering just how he was going to break the news to Buffy.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy walked into the library with her hall pass, still completely miserable, but now a little hopeful that her Watcher had some good news for her. "Giles," she announced, "I'm here."

Giles emerged from his office, already polishing his glasses and generally fumbling about. "I-if you care to sit down, I-I'll let you know what I've found out."

Now Buffy knew something was wrong. Sitting down at the ever-familiar table near the book stacks, she asked, "What is it, Giles?"

"We-Well," he replied nervously, "I've spoken to the Watcher's Council, and they informed me that your, uh, condition is permanent."

"P-permanent?" repeated the now ex-Slayer in a small voice lacking all of her usual confidence. "Did they say why?"

"Travers claimed something about it being a 'rare reaction' to the chemical, but frankly, I think that the arrogant tosser is lying his arse off." His temper now boiling over, Giles added, "The stupid nonce 'apologized' for your 'inconvenience', but it's pretty clear he wants both of us to bugger off and leave Faith to whatever bumsucker he sends here."

Buffy was utterly devastated. "So, that's it?! Sorry you lost your powers, hope your enjoy the rest of your life?" She tried standing up, but merely collapsed to the ground in a crying heap. "I can't  **be**  normal! That me is  **dead**!"

The former Watcher helped up the devastated Buffy, and held her in his arms as if she was his own daughter. "I'm sorry, Buffy."

"Please tell me you had me come here and deal with that annoying little Ferengi for some reason other than Daddy/daughter day."

The Slayer and Watcher separated from their embrace, and turned to face an extremely annoyed Faith, flanked by Willow, Oz, Cordelia, and Xander. Suddenly, Buffy felt even smaller and insignificant. "I…..I'm not the Slayer anymore," she admitted.

Everyone else (except Giles, for obvious reasons) was completely flabbergasted. Even Oz raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You do realize that this is a lifetime gig, right, B?" asked Faith.

"Well, multiple lifetime gig," pointed out Willow helpfully and with her characteristic touch of optimism.

Giles spoke up and explained. "As most of you are aware, the Watcher's Council had me drug Buffy to test her ability upon the event of her 18th birthday. But with Buffy's powers not returning, I contacted the Council and they have informed me that the drugs have reacted in a manner that means her powers shall in fact never return."

Cordelia spoke up first. "So, that's it?! Buffy shows up and ruins my entire life, and these Watcher guys can just decide that it's over, and she gets to go back to being a non-freak? Well, that's a load of crap! I can't get my reputation back for having hung around with you losers for the past two years, so what makes Little Miss Likes To Fight here think she can do it?"

The response to Cordy was justifiably one of pure revulsion. "Can someone explain to me again just why I ever dated her?" asked Xander. Willow rather wisely bit her tongue (literally, as she winced after doing so).

Buffy glowered at the cheerleader before making a determined decision. "You'll be happy to know, then, Cordelia, that I'm not quitting. I might not have the strength anymore, but I'm still the Slayer, no matter what anyone says."

Willow and Giles were openly dismayed. "Buffy, you can't be seriously considering this," replied the redhead.

"Why not?" asked Xander. "I don't have any powers, and I help. Oz doesn't for most of the month, either."

"Don't forget Batman," pointed out Oz helpfully. "He even fought Dracula once, too."

"Doesn't count," answered Xander. "It was an Elseworlds story, and he only beat Dracula by getting turned."

Oz nodded, conceding the point. "True enough."

"Buffy," replied Giles, "I must ask you to reconsider. As much as I loathe the Council, I must admit that this is no longer your fight."

"Xander's right, Giles," argued the blonde ex-Slayer. "I can do this. I've got three years of experience fighting evil. What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

Faith, Willow, and Giles surveyed the remains of the three vanquished demons with a hearty helping of relief, with a nice side order of fear. This was absolutely  **not**  a nest of vampires. "These babes were wicked rowdy," announced Faith in typical Bostonian fashion. "What's their deal?"

"I wish I knew," answered Giles. "I heard there was a nest here, but quite frankly I was expecting vampires. These are new."

"I prefer 'old', myself," declared Willow, visibly shaking with fear.

"Well, I'm sorry, Willow," offered Giles. "If I had known, I would have prepared for this better, and never allowed you to come, or…"

Just then, a nearby pile of trash started to shift in two places, and from it emerged Buffy and Xander, beaten and bruised. "I'm OK! I'm OK!" announced the blonde helpfully. "No reason to worry."

Agreeing, Xander said, "Yeah, just a little bit dirty, is all." To everyone else, he added, "Good show, everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit."

"Are you guys OK?" asked Willow, clearly concerned for both of her best friends.

"Never better," replied Buffy. "All body parts intact, head still on straight."

"You didn't step on my spine, by any chance?" joked Xander to his companion in trash-diving.

"Can't say I did."

Faith, Giles, and Willow were generally horrified. "You guys are going to get yourselves killed one of these days if you keep jumping into the fray like that," replied the Slayer.

"We'll manage," declared Xander, to the nodding agreement of Buffy.

Returning back to the task at hand as if nothing was wrong, Buffy said, "So what are we going to do about the heroic trio here? Should we burn the bodies?"

"I brought marshmallows!" shouted Willow rashly, which earned her four glares of revulsion. "Occasionally, I am callous and strange."

Changing the subject, Giles replied, "I expect we can leave them. I'm more interested in finding out what they are, and if we can expect any more of their kind."

"Eh, Xander and I can take 'em, Wonder Twins-style," declared Buffy confidently as she shared a fist bump with him.

The others bit their tongues as they started to leave the nest, but Giles hung back with the limping Buffy and Xander. "I do think it best for the two of you to keep to the rear of the battle in the future. For your own sakes."

"But gee, Superman, if Wendy and I don't learn how to fight evil, we'll never become full members of the Justice League." Xander's joke was horrendously lost on Giles, leading to the explanation, " _Super Friends_  jokes are pretty much gonna be lost on you."

"Sorry."

"Don't be," replied Buffy. "The Marvin-and-Wendy episodes sucked."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this part (and the next couple) are going to be blatantly built off of "The Zeppo", with dialogue lifts and the like. If it's not here, but was in the episode, you can generally assume that it played out as in canon (with the obvious exception of scenes removed to fit this story). Obviously, I'm starting to really tip my hand with this part.

"What do you mean I'm not helping?"

Despite himself, Giles had told Buffy exactly what the demons were, and what they had planned. The short version: they were part of the Sisterhood of Jhe, and they intended to open the Hellmouth. "Buffy, you and Xander were extremely lucky last night. You both could have been seriously hurt, if not killed, and I absolutely will not allow you to face the Sisterhood. If not for her witchcraft, I would be doing the same with Willow."

"I can't believe you!" shouted the ex-Slayer. "Xander and I have faced everything this town has thrown at us so far, and come out ahead! And he never even had any powers!"

"Look," replied Giles, his patience at its limit. "I don't  **want**  to do this. You are both immensely valuable to our cause. But the Sisterhood of Jhe is way more serious than anything you've ever faced, even when you were the Slayer. Perhaps if you had more experience fighting without your powers, I'd reconsider, but as it stands, I cannot allow…."

"Fine!" hissed Buffy as she left, desperate to avoid allowing Giles to see her cry.

* * *

"…And he was like, 'No, you and Xander cannot take part in stopping this'.' It's like he's gone from treating me as an adult to acting like I'm 15 all over again! And poor Xander, it's like he's a nobody all of a sudden!"

Willow was sympathetic, but ultimately in agreement with Giles. "Maybe he's right. You guys got roughed up pretty bad the other day. I mean, sure, cutting you guys out of research is kinda harsh, but if he thinks this one is that serious, maybe you guys should sit out. I don't know what I'd do-"

Willow's train of thought was interrupted by the honking of a car horn behind them. At the wheel of the car, which was an impeccably preserved '57 Chevy Bel Aire, was Xander. "You girls need a lift?"

Regarding the car skeptically, Buffy asked, "What is that?"

"What do you mean, 'What is it?' It's my thing!"

"Your thing?" asked Willow.

"My  **thing** …."

Buffy instantly wondered if she had been a bit too generous in defending Xander. Cringing, she questioned, "Is this a penis metaphor?"

Undeterred, Xander continued. "My thing that makes me cool! You know, that makes me unique. I'm Car Guy. Guy with a car."

"How could you afford it?" asked Willow.

"Uncle Rory stacking up the DUI's," he explained, "letting me rent this bad boy 'til he's mobile again."

Halfheartedly, Buffy admitted, "Well, it's nice."

"If you could sound less enthused…."

"Sorry," apologized the blonde, "It's just that….."

"Evil," interrupted Willow, cutting to the quick.

"Big?"

"Biggest," declared Buffy. "And Giles says that we're sidelined."

Xander looked as if his puppy had just been kicked, and he didn't even own one. "There's nothing at all that we can do?"

Buffy and Xander looked to Willow, who folded like a deck of cards under the weight of their combined sympathy powers. "Well….."

* * *

"Two of the glazed, two cinnamon, couple of crème-filled, and a jelly. Let's round that out to four jellies."

"Can we add an extra one outside of the box?" asked Buffy. Responding to Xander's look, she said, "What? I like jelly donuts."

"OK, and an extra donut for the lady," replied Xander, unable to refuse Buffy her desire.

However, an already aggravating situation for the two deteriorated further as none other than Cordelia Chase approached, still out for Xander's blood. "Ooh, some evil going on? It must be big for them to entrust you with this daredevil mission, Xander. And you even brought ol' gimpy to help."

Buffy fumed. "I might not be the Slayer anymore, but I sure as Hell can beat the snot out of your skanky ass." Xander paid for the donuts, and handed her her prized jelly.

Cordy was as pleased as punch to be getting not only under her ex-boyfriend's skin, but Buffy's as well. "Again, I strike a nerve. I am a surgeon of mean."

"Can you crawl back under that rock of yours?" asked Buffy between bites. "We have things to do."

"Riiiiiiight," agreed Cordelia in full sarcasm mode as she followed Buffy and Xander to the car. "The Slayer and her groupie, on the important mission of 'being expendable'."

Xander cut in. "You think you know everything-"

"I know you."

"Yeah, right," declared Buffy, the donut now gone. "You sort of know how to grope him and hurl insults. Just like every other guy at school who's had a ride."

Queen C was unfazed in her verbal assault. "Oh, what, Xander has a shiny new car and now he's someone new. Like anyone cares about-"

"Is that your car?" asked a strikingly beautiful blonde, which took Buffy and Cordelia aback.

"Why, yes, it is," answered Xander, suddenly feeling full of confidence.

"'57 Chevy Bel Aire, 283 C.I.D solid lifter, fuel injected v8?"

Xander had no clue whatsoever what the blonde girl was asking, but responded anyways. "Uh….very possibly."

"How does she handle?"

Xander knew the answer to this one. "Like a dream about warm sticky things." Forgetting Buffy for a second, he asked, "You wanna go for a little drive?"

"You busy?"

"Actually, he is," interrupted Buffy, to Xander's extreme surprise. Looking at him with her full charm turned on, she said, "You mean you forgot about our date tonight, Xan?"

"Date?" asked Xander and Cordelia simultaneously. However, while Xander was again shocked, Cordy found it deliciously funny.

"Yes," replied Buffy, mostly to Queen C. "I hear you've been having trouble with that since you dumped this fine example of a man." Xander was pretty much putty in the ex-Slayer's hands, and had completely forgotten the other blonde, who was fuming.

"You have fun with that," replied the blonde to Xander before telling Buffy, "You've got jelly donut in the corner of your mouth."

With the blonde departing a huff, Cordelia just walked away, laughing at the now-deflated pair of expendable Scoobies.

* * *

The Bronze was lively as ever, but Buffy (now with her makeup in impeccable order after the post-donut humiliation earlier) and Xander were utterly miserable. "And now Cordelia's taking shots at me, Xander.  **Cordelia**. This is massively humiliating."

"Welcome to my life since I got caught fluking with Willow."

"I'm sorry," answered Buffy before hugging him briefly. "I hadn't realized. And I guess I haven't helped, what with me taking Willow's side and everything."

"You should be on Willow's side," admitted Xander with a sigh. "I had my chance, and I blew it."

"If it helps any," offered the blonde, "you'll always have…..Angel!"

Xander was perplexed for a moment as Buffy shot up onto her feet. That is, until he saw Deadboy himself, looking as broody as ever.

"Buffy….what are you doing here?" he asked, before noticing Xander seated behind her.

"I'm here, with Xander."

Ignoring the frankly disturbing possibility, Angel said, "You guys shouldn't be out tonight. The portents are pretty bad this time…."

"We can help! We're all up on our portents, right Xander?" Xander nodded.

"No, you don't understand," interrupted the ensouled vampire. "This is serious, and I think it's going to be sooner than Giles thinks. I need to talk to Willy-"

"And we can help!" begged Buffy in an almost pathetic fashion.

Angel shook his head. "No, I want you to be safe." He started to leave, but just couldn't leave well enough alone. In a low voice, he asked, "Buffy, why are you on a date with Xander? I thought-"

"Well, maybe you thought wrong!" shouted Buffy loudly enough to turn a couple of heads. "At least Xander doesn't try to decide when I can and can't help!"

"Buffy, you're not the Slayer anymore. You've got to realize that I'm trying to-"

"To what? Protect me? Tell me how to live my life? Because if that's the case," announced Buffy for all to hear as she took off her claddagh ring, "You can take this ring back, and go to Hell! Again!" Buffy threw the ring at him, and it clattered to some unknown part of the Bronze, never to be seen again.

"Buffy….."

"Don't 'Buffy' me, Angel!" she shouted. "We're through!"

Angel thought about saying something, but just decided to leave, albeit much broodier than he was when he entered the night club. For her part, Buffy collapsed back into her seat next to Xander, clearly in tears.

Normally, Xander would have been overjoyed, but Buffy needed him. "Is there anything I can do, Buffy?" he asked helpfully.

"Can you just take me home?" she asked. "I don't feel like having fun anymore tonight."

* * *

Outside, Buffy was in full-on Bitter Mode as Xander started his car. "It's like everyone thinks I'm completely incapable of protecting myself just because I've lost my powers. Sure, my reflexes aren't that hot right now, but I know what I'm doing."

"Maybe you just need to get on a hardcore training program," offered Xander. "I could help if you need someone to spar with you."

"You'd do that?" she asked, her mood improving exponentially. With a heartfelt hug, Buffy added, "You're such a good friend, Xander. I don't know what I'd do without you right now."

"Think nothing of it, Buff. Once we get to your place, we can-"

All plans stopped as Xander smacked into another car. Leaping out of his car, Buffy and Xander surveyed the damage, which was far, far worse on the other vehicle on account of it being made of far less sturdy materials than the Bel Aire. "Oh my God, oh my God," repeated Xander, "All right, let's stay calm. Little fender bender, it's not-"

Xander paused as the driver of the other car exited. It was Jack O'Toole, all-around thug and bully. Buffy recognized him instantly (after all, Snyder compared her to him constantly at school), but she was unaware that Jack was already upset at Xander. As the bully approached, Xander finished his sentence, albeit with far, far less confidence.

"…..the end of the world."

 


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh. Gosh. Jack. Hey, are you OK?" Xander was bending over backwards to please Jack O'Toole, and Buffy couldn't argue with him in the least. "I'm really sorry about that. Your car came out of nowhere."

_I thought this car was parked_ , debated the blonde internally.

"I was parked."

_I hate it when I'm right._

"Exactly. OK, I can cover the damages. I don't have insurance in the strictest sense of the word, but I have a little money." Buffy winced, and wished that she had her powers to bail Xander out of this mess. "The important thing is that we're OK, and we can work this out like two reasonable-"

Jack pulled out a massive knife.

"…..frontiersman….."

Buffy finally spoke up on her friend's behalf. "Wow, and I thought that your car was a penis metaphor." Jack sneered fiercely at the ex-Slayer. "Not that there's anything  **wrong**  with your knife, that is."

"Her name is Katie."

"You gave it a girl's name!" declared Xander with false enthusiasm. "How very serial of you. Buffy, I think we should go."

Buffy nodded enthusiastically.

"You scared?" asked Jack.

"Would it make you feel happy?"

Jack chuckled at Xander. "Your woman's looking on and-"

"Uh, excuse me," interrupted the ex-Slayer, "I'm not 'his' woman. We're just friends."

"I thought you were tough, Summers," replied Jack. "Snyder makes it sound like you're the Big Bad, but here you are with this wimp." He emphasized his point by shoving "Katie" even closer into Xander's neck.

"What's going on?"

Never in her life was Buffy more pleased to see a member of the Sunnydale Police Department.

Jack spoke first. "Nothing. Just rasslin'."

The cop recognized Jack, to Buffy's eternal non-surprise. "O'Toole. What a surprise." To Xander, he asked, "He attack you?"

Xander shared a look with Buffy, clearly intended to ask for guidance. With none forthcoming, he blurted out, "No. Just letting off steam. Two guys rasslin'. But not in a gay way."

_Oh, Xander…_  thought Buffy as she facepalmed.

The cop, believing Xander's cock-and-bull story, left. Jack, for his part, gave Xander a stare, which inspired faith in neither ex-Slayer or Zeppo. "What."

"That was alright," declared Jack as he shoved Katie back into his pants. "Coulda narced on me, but didn't do it. Very decent." Sizing up Xander, he said, "I like you. Maybe Summers here isn't such a paper tiger after all."

"Yay?" asked Xander, who was at least as worried as Buffy was.

"Hey, you two wanna have some fun?"

Buffy and Xander just looked at each other, both completely clueless as to how to dispose of Jack. "What did you have in mind?" asked Xander.

"I was on my way to get the boys together. Gonna cruise around. We'll take your wheels."

Ever the voice of reason, Xander asked, "What about your car?"

"Ain't mine."

Buffy groaned as the three of them got into Xander's car. "OK, where to?"

"Get my buddies!" repeated Jack.

"We know that," declared Buffy. "But where?"

* * *

Buffy quickly regretted the question. Three cemeteries led to three of Jack's friends being summoned from the grave, all in various states of decay. Worse yet, Giles completely blew her and Xander off at the second stop. ( _Why was he even there?_  thought Buffy as Jack and his friends continued to yuck it up while she and Xander continued to feel totally trapped.) Of course, things got even worse when Jack announced, "I've heard a lot of suggestions, but I'm gonna go with Dickie's. Let's bake a cake."

Buffy and Xander looked at each other yet again, sharing pained expressions as Jack directed them to a store somewhere in town. "Stay here," he said. "And keep the motor running."

Xander replied shakily, "This time of night, I'm pretty sure nothing's open-"

Bob, the first of Jack's friends (suffering from a gunshot to the head), smashed the window to the store with a trash can, seemingly in response to Xander.

"Oh. But of course they're open for crime…."

Just then, Buffy and Xander saw salvation, and her name was Willow. Rushing from a magic store, she almost ran them over as they snuck up on their witchy friend. "Buffy! Xander! What are you doing here?"

"Nothing!" they both declared nervously. Xander, in a fit of babbling worthy of Willow herself, continued, "Certainly not crime….What about you?"

"I needed supplies for a protection spell. Angel called and told us it's happening tonight!" Willow was clearly freaked out.

"What's happening?" asked Buffy. "And how can we help?"

"I….I wish I could stay." Wrapping the pair in a tight hug, she declared, "I love you, Xander. You too, Buffy," before running off into the night.

"We're gonna die, Buffy," moaned Xander. "And that's going to be the last thing Willow ever says to us."

Buffy agreed completely. "We need to just ditch Jack and his corpses, and-"

Before either one could do anything, they found themselves surrounded. "Looks like Xander and Buffy are looking to take off, boys."

The dead guys voiced their disapproval as Buffy and Xander started to squirm. "Maybe they'll feel more like part of the group if we initiate them." Again, the zombies agreed with Jack.

Even though she knew she'd regret asking, Buffy did so. "So, uh, how do we get initiated?"

Jack pulled out Katie once more. "You die."

Buffy and Xander gulped.

"But Jack's not dead," blurted out Xander.

Jack lifted up his shirt, and lo and behold, he had five bullet holes in his chest. "Three weeks ago. Drive by."

"Funny thing about the dying," declared Buffy nervously. "I did that two years ago. Xander brought me back. Right, Xander?" Xander nodded.

Jack was impressed. "That's impressive, man. Maybe I should introduce you to my Grandpappy. He'd love to know how you did it."

And while sure enough, Jack and his buddies started to move away from Buffy, they started to go for Xander, whooping and hollering the whole time. With no other option, Buffy grabbed onto Xander's arm, gave him a warning glance, and yanked him as hard as she could. The force was such that Xander nearly toppled over her, but it was just enough of a head start to allow them to get in Xander's car, and get away at top speed.

* * *

"Are you alright?" shouted Buffy.

"You saved my life!" answered Xander appreciatively. "How about we do that 'going home' thing we discussed a few hours ago?" Buffy nodded like never before. However, while they approached the park, they saw Faith, fighting one of the Sisterhood of Jhe, and she was doing pretty poorly. So, Xander did the first thing he could think of: he slammed into the creature with his car, sending it flying.

"Get in!"

Faith was no fool, and leaped in with Buffy and Xander post-haste. With another rubber-burning burst of speed, Xander took off for Faith's motel, and upon arriving, all three dashed into the Slayer's dingy room.

"You think Hell Mama followed us?" asked Xander.

"Naw, we're cool," replied the brunette as she favored her shoulder. "The bitch dislocated my shoulder, though. Hold me."

Xander obliged, and Buffy got nervous as her successor in Slaying took a far more sensual grip than was necessary to pop her should back in place.

"That's better." Like a moth to a flame, Buffy was drawn to the sight of Faith starting to grope Xander. "She really got me wound up. A fight like that and no kill, I'm ready to pop."

Xander was confused as hell. Should he run, or should he give into his growing lust? "Really? Pop?"

"You two up for it?"

Xander nodded despite himself. "Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up."

Faith tested Xander's "up"-ness to positive results with one hand while turning her attention to the blonde third wheel. "What about you, B?"

Buffy stammered furiously. The idea was far too tempting. "I-I don't think that I should intrude on…"

"Oh, come on," replied the Slayer as she pulled in the other woman closely, "you know what they say: three's company." To emphasize her point, Faith kissed Buffy with ferocious passion (and a ton of tongue). When it was over, the two were putty in her hands. Well, except for the part of Xander that was "up", of course.

"I've never been, um, up with people…..before…." admitted Xander.

"And I've never been 'up' with a girl," replied Buffy, who was increasingly wanting to change that fact, while also entertaining the idea of being "up" with Xander.

Faith kissed the two, and hard. "Relax, and take off your clothes. Both of you."

Buffy and Xander looked at each other questioningly, and with quite a bit of lust. "I'm not sure those two concepts are compatible right now," offered the ex-Slayer.

Faith released her grip on Little Xander and pulled off her shirt, as Buffy suddenly understood just why Xander liked breasts. "Don't worry, guys, I'll steer you 'round the curves."

Buffy grabbed the closest thing to her, namely Xander, and kissed the hell out of him before doing the same to Faith.

Faith only smiled as she pulled the two onto her bed and started tearing off their clothes.

* * *

"That was great, guys. I gotta shower."

And with that, Faith slammed the door shut, leaving Buffy and Xander outside in their underwear, holding the rest of their clothes.

* * *

"Hey, stop checking out my butt!" shouted Xander as he and Buffy rushed to put their clothes back on, with minimal protection from prying eyes.

"I've already seen everything you have to offer, Xander," answered Buffy with something between disgust and lust. "Besides, you're looking, too!"

The so-called Zeppo blushed. "Let's just go home, and never speak of this again."

Buffy nodded eagerly in agreement. "At least your first didn't turn evil after it was over."

Xander glanced back at the door to Faith's motel room before saying, "I'm not even sure which one of you it was."

Thinking as she got into the passenger seat of Xander's car, the ex-Slayer declared, "I think it was me."

Sitting down next to Buffy, Xander nodded blankly as the two stared at each other for a good minute.

This was followed by at least two minutes worth of making out, before the two split apart as if a bomb had gone off between the two.

"We gotta get out of here," announced Xander nervously, hoping for a distraction, any distraction. And that's when he glanced into the rearview mirror and saw the grocery bags Jack and his friends had dropped off in the back seat. Grabbing one of the bags, Xander looked inside. "Hey!"

Buffy saw it, too. "That doesn't look like any cake I've ever seen."

* * *

It took three minutes for Xander and Buffy to return to the scene of the crime, and Jack and his zombie crew were long gone. Buffy scowled. "Just great. Now what are we going to do?"

Five minutes worth of making out later, Buffy and Xander pulled apart as if they had just touched a live current.

"We  **really**  need to stop doing that, Buff."

"We also need to find what they're planning on blowing up."

Xander looked towards Buffy and nodded. And once again, Xander leaned towards his blonde friend, and she towards him, until they both realized what they were about to do, resulting in the two snapping into a perfect posture position in their seats.

Buffy was the first to speak. "When this is over, I'm taking the coldest shower since the Ice Age ended."

"I'll be right there with you," answered Xander, which caused both to imagine themselves sharing the same shower. Now irreparably turned on, Xander restarted his car, and floored it.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Xander and Buffy continued driving around to find Jack and his friends, to no avail. Of course, by this point, the two had snuggled together like an actual couple and were a bit more interested in each other than the task at hand. That is, until….

"Xander, look!"

Buffy and Xander shot back to attention after the blonde noticed Jack and his friends tooling about in the streets. Parker, the final (and most decayed) of Jack's friends was walking near the shoulder of the road, was Xander's target. Veering close to him, Xander grabbed the undead teen by the collar of his shirt.

"Stop! Come on, stop, man!" Despite being dead, Parker was clearly in pain.

"Where's the bomb?" asked Xander.

"In the high school!"

"Where in the high school?" asked Buffy, playing the bad cop to Xander's badder cop.

Parker screamed in pain. "This really hurts! Boiler room!"

Xander and Buffy couldn't help but look at each other and roll their eyes. "OK, genius!" shouted the ex-Slayer, "How do we disarm the…."

With a mighty WHACK! Parker's head collided with a mailbox, and was suddenly very much  **not**  on his body. Xander promptly screamed and dropped the lifeless body.

"….gross!"

Now with a clear purpose, Xander veered off, heading for the school and leaving Jack and his (substantially less deader than Parker) friends in the dust.

* * *

At the school, Buffy and Xander made a dead run towards the boiler room door, only to find it…..

"Locked!" shouted Buffy as she futilely kicked the double doors. However, Jack and his pals were hot on the case, and with no other choice, the two ran away, going past the library without a second thought, and into the student lounge, where they were confronted by Bob, who had one of the fire axes in his hands.

Bob swung the axe broadly at Buffy and Xander, and both leaped backwards. Xander awkwardly tripped and fell into a couple of the lounge tables, leaving him open for attack. "Xander!" shouted Buffy as she grabbed at the axe as Bob started to follow after her friend. Taking advantage of the commotion, Xander charged and slugged Bob, allowing Buffy to gain sole possession of the weapon. After a short scuffle, Xander had managed to knock Bob to the ground, leaving the undead teen in a daze.

"Help me!" shouted the former Slayer as she tried to tip over the lounge's soda machine. Xander rushed over, and between the two, they managed to put the drop on Bob, or his head at least, causing a chunky SPLUT! as the soda machine landed on his head. "Oh, ew!" shouted Buffy.

Neither Buffy nor Xander had much time to reflect on the newly headless Bob, as Dickie, he of the idea to "bake" the "cake", saw what the two living teens had done to Bob. "Should learned by now," declared Xander in a bit of a tough guy voice, "If you're gonna play with fire, you got to expect that sooner or later-"

Dickie wisely decided to run instead of listening to the rest of Xander's speech, much to the latter's annoyance.

"Shorter is better, Xand," declared Buffy helpfully before they both gave chase. That is, until three of the Sisterhood started chasing Dickie, leading Buffy and Xander to reverse course. For whatever reason, the two went in a different direction than their undead pursuer, and heard rather emphatically that Dickie's choice had been the wrong one.

"Boiler room?" asked Xander.

"Boiler room," confirmed the blonde with a nod as she started towards the boiler room, only to be blocked by one of the Hellmouth tentacle things. Buffy and Xander's eyes grew wide with the realization that the creature was bigger than before- **a lot bigger**. With a shared glance they both announced, "Other way!" before taking off.

* * *

After Buffy destroyed the lock to the boiler room door with the axe, they both rushed into the boiler room to find the bomb right in the center of the room. "Hello, nasty," declared Xander as the time ticked below two minutes.

"Please tell me your army guy memories can help," pleaded the ex-Slayer. Before Xander could answer, he was yanked away….by Jack, and thrown into one of the walls.

"We're not leaving here until that thing is disarmed," said Xander bravely.

"Then I guess you're not leaving," hissed Jack before he started swinging punches at Xander. Eventually, Jack had Xander pinned against the wall with Katie shoved in his face once again.

"Back off, Jack!" shouted Buffy, brandishing the axe.

"No chance, Summers," he answered. "I'm gonna carve up Harris and serve with with gravy."

"In thirty eight seconds?" asked the blonde.

Jack turned in the direction of the bomb, which was a major mistake, as Xander slugged him hard, sending the undead bully into the opposite corner of the room. "You're thinking, 'Can I get by both of them? Get up the stairs, out of the building?' Seconds ticking away, I don't love your chances."

"You'll both die, too."

"Been there, done that," replied Buffy defiantly.

"So, I guess it's about who's less afraid," added Xander.

"I ain't afraid to die. I'm already dead."

"Yeah, but this is different," countered Xander. "Blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's 'little bits swept up by the janitor' dead, and I don't think you're ready for that."

"And you two are?" asked Jack.

After a pregnant pause, Xander declared calmly, "I like the quiet."

_Tick, tick, tick_ …..the timer dwindled as Buffy and Xander glared quietly at Jack. With seven seconds left, Jack chickened out, dropping Katie as he dived for the bomb and pulled out a green wire, disarming it.

"Good boy," said Buffy darkly.

"I don't think I wanna be seeing you around campus anymore, Jack," replied Xander with a confidence Buffy had never seen before.

Buffy dropped the axe and locked arms with her friend as they left Jack behind. Once they were safely outside, the former Slayer started grinning. "Good job, Xander."

"Thanks," he answered shakily as he graciously led her to the passenger seat of his car. Looking into her eyes, Xander said, "Heck of a first date, don't you think?" Buffy only nodded slightly as she and Xander drew closer together slowly, tentatively, and kissed.

Compared to the many times they kissed during their "date", this was much more innocent. But in a very real way, it was far more meaningful to Buffy and Xander. They were both blushing when the kiss ended. "What should we do for the second?" was Buffy's whispered response.

"I'm sure we can work something out," replied Xander before kissing Buffy again. This time, the kiss was more like the others. More passionate, more full of desire. Soon, the two found themselves fumbling to open the back door while still maintaining the liplock. Eventually, they got it right, and Xander eased the blonde down onto the large back seat as they both submitted fully to their passion.


	7. Chapter 7

"This is so not good," declared Xander as he held Buffy in his arms.

While they were both completely naked in the backseat of Uncle Rory's car.

"There's something wrong with us," agreed Buffy as she reached for their clothes. "The car must be possessed with some lusting demon that makes me want guys and girls."

Xander took his shirt and started to put it on so hastily that he didn't realize that it was inside out. And partially torn to shreds. "What if it's not a demon, and we're really hot for each other?"

Buffy responded by kissing Xander again. "No!" she shouted, before pulling away again. "No more sexy thoughts!" To aid in the process, she finished putting on her clothes, which was amazingly easy if you ignored things like underwear and socks and jackets.

"We need to think pure thoughts," announced Xander. "You know, like us finding someone else to have a threesome with."

"I wonder if Willow is into girls. Or at least me."

They both paled considerably when they realized what the other had said. "Those weren't pure thoughts, Buff."

"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I Want All My Sex To Be With Two Girls At Once'!"

Xander sighed, and admitted, "We just need to go home, and take those cold showers."

" **Separately!** " declared Buffy vehemently as she plopped down in the passenger seat. "And after that, there will be no more  **kissing** , no more  **groping** , and no more  **sex**.  **Ever!** "

"Amen to that," agreed Xander as he got in the driver's seat and sped off to 1630 Revello Drive.

* * *

 

The next morning, Xander was walking down the hallway at school, trying to avoid thinking about the previous night (but failing rather miserably on account of being a teenage guy who had sex  **multiple times** ) when he was pulled aside suddenly, and into the janitor's room.

"What the-?!" asked Xander as he was basically shoved inside by….whoever.

"Shut up and kiss me," ordered Buffy as she shut the door, before kissing him herself.

Breaking off the kiss as fast as he could, Xander asked, "What happened to the no more kissing?"

"I changed my mind. Besides, are you  **really**  going to turn me down?"

Buffy has Xander dead to rights, and she knew it.  _Dammit_ , he thought before admitting, "No…."

"Then shut up and kiss me," she repeated before Xander did just that, and a lot more.

* * *

 

Later, Buffy and Xander approached a picnic table where Oz, Giles, and Willow were sitting. While the ex-Slayer and so-called Zeppo had oddly goofy grins on there face as a direct result of their encounter in the janitor's closet (they had three reasons to be happy, in fact), their friends were far more morose, in no part because Giles' arm was in a sling, and the briefest indications of Willow's heavy bandages were visible on both of her wrists (to say nothing of the visible bruises they both had). This did nothing to dissuade Buffy from singing, though.

"Go Ninja, go Ninja go, go Ninja, go Ninja go

Go, go, go, go…..How'd the apocalypse go, guys?"

Willow had an odd feeling about the two, but brushed it off. "Boy, you're both lucky you weren't at school last night. It was crazed."

Buffy and Xander shared the slightest of looks in reaction to their friend's comment. "So, does this mean we get to say, 'We told you so?'" Buffy wasn't about to forget, despite her mood.

"No, it does not," answered Giles.

"Well, Xander and I decided that we're going to whip each other into fighting shape," declared the blonde with an almost bubbly determination.

"Just not with actual whips," continued Xander, "because that would be extremely kinky and se-OW!" Buffy elbowed Xander in the stomach to stop him from talking, which only further confused Willow.

Buffy's former Watcher sighed before saying, "I guess I can't stop the two of you from taking part, but I really do wish you'd reconsider. "You have your entire life ahead of you, Buffy." Giles simply couldn't hide his fatherly affection for the teen, but knew he was going to lose the fight.

"You know what they say, Giles: you can take the Slayer out of the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the Slayer." Buffy paused, unsure if she had said that right. "Or something like that. The point is: I'm helping, and you can't stop me."

"Very well," answered Giles, caving in as usual.

"Anyways," declared Xander, changing the subject, "we're going to grab a snack. Anyone want?" All three heads shook. "Oz?"

* * *

 

"I'm not going anywhere," replied Jack, turning towards a second door marked "EXIT" after Buffy and Xander were already out of earshot. "And the first time you turn your back-"

Opening the door, Jack was immediately jumped by a werewolf.  **Oz**.

* * *

 

"I'm oddly full today."

"'K," replied Xander as he and Buffy veered off.

"Go Ninja, go Ninja go, go Ninja, go Ninja go

Go, go, go, go…."

Standing in their way was none other than Cordelia, who decided to continue right where she left off the previous night. "Oh, look, it's Mr. and Mrs. Excitement. On another life or death donut mission? Or is Buffy just going to scare off some more bimbos, while you give them lessons in lack of cool?"

Buffy and Xander just look at each other for a good minute with knowing smiles on their faces.

"What?"

They just said nothing, while smiling at Cordelia.

"What?"

Then, done with Queen C, Buffy and Xander walked off.

" **WHAT?!** "

Now arm in arm, Buffy and Xander just laughed as Cordelia stood there, completely perplexed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends the borrowing of elements of "The Zeppo". Things for the next few episodes' worth of time will be veering fairly far away from the heavy lifts of TV show material.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days were a bit of a blur for Buffy. Besides the normal school-related activities, Scooby meetings, and the gradual return to nightly patrols, she was training with Xander.

And making out with him.

 **Constantly**.

Amazingly, there was no more sex, but a lot of this had to do with Xander deferring to Buffy every single time.  _I swear, I'm going to smack Cordelia silly if I find out that she's the reason why he acts this way_ , thought the blonde after one of their make out sessions ended.

The next day, Buffy tried to "dare" Xander into action by dressing a bit more provocatively, and then by playing "hard to get" by not pulling him into the janitor's closet. It took a little longer, but she was richly reward for her efforts around lunch time.

"I need to tease you more often," Buffy moaned as Xander went at her like a man possessed.

Xander stopped dead in his tracks. "You've been teasing me?"

"Yes," she confirmed with a devilish grin on her face. "I wanted you to take control," Buffy continued as she grabbed the crotch of his pants seductively, "and it looks like it worked."

The former Slayer had her lover in the palm of her hands, and at full attention. "I'm just never sure if you want me."

Buffy whispered in his ear with every ounce of lust in her body. "I  **always**  want you.  **Especially**  when you're confident enough to do something about it."

Now emboldened, Xander proceeded to do a lot of things about Buffy wanting him. Though, in the end, he still couldn't keep up with her, and was rather worn out by the time they were done. While Xander rested awkwardly and in a half-dressed state, Buffy said happily, "I'll see you later, Xander," as she kissed him on the cheek before leaving the closet.

* * *

 

Much later, in the student lounge, Buffy was floating on Cloud 9 while Willow talked about something or other. However, the redhead was no fool, and eventually poked her friend in an effort to get her attention. "Buffy, is everything alright? You seem kinda…distracted."

"Oh! What?" replied Buffy as she was startled into alertness. "No, I'm alright. Great, in fact. I was just thinking about…..things."  _Like Xander_ , she thought dreamily.

"There's not anything going wrong with you and Angel, is there?" asked Willow.

"Angel?" replied the blonde with a dismissive snort. "That's over, Will. It's been over for a few days, in fact."

Willow was shocked and dismayed. "You broke up with him? And you didn't tell me?"

"Sorry," answered Buffy with a twinge of guilt. "There's not much to tell. He acted like I couldn't take care of myself that night you guys had the Hellmouth thing, and he was a bit jealous of Xander since I was there with him, so I got mad and told him that we were through."

"Xander?" asked Willow, who was having another attack of the green-eyed monster for reasons that she  **still**  couldn't pin down.

"I know, right?" offered Buffy as she lied her ass off. "He knows by now that Xander and I are just friends."

Willow was still bothered by her nagging gut feeling when she asked, "Buffy, you'd tell me if you and Xander were being more than friendly with each other, right?"

Buffy smiled artificially as her stomach twisted into knots with guilt. "Of course I would, Will."

"OK…." replied Willow worryingly.

The school bell rang, and Buffy shot out of her seat. She blurted out, "I've got class! See you later!" before rushing off. Once out of sight, the former Slayer stopped to wipe the tears from her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she resolved to talk with Xander as soon as the school day was over.


	9. Chapter 9

"Xander, we need to talk."

"Yeah," he agreed. "We had sex. Together. And with Faith. And in the back seat of my Uncle Rory's car. And twice in the broom closet at school. I'd say that's more than enough to need to talk about."

"I don't want to pretend it didn't happen."

Xander nearly managed to choke on thin air, and erupted into a huge coughing fit. "Buffy, are you serious?"

"Very."

Xander smiled in that disarmingly goofy way of his, and Buffy returned it. "Then let's not. Pretend, I mean." Buffy's smile faded. "You have 'But' Face. Spill."

"I think Willow's still kind of into you," admitted the ex-Slayer. "It'd kill her if she found out we were dating behind her back. And if she found out about the other stuff, she'd probably hate us."

Xander's face fell, having some great first hand evidence to support Buffy's hypothesis. "We need to find a way to ease her into the idea. I don't want a repeat of how she found out about me and Cordy."

"Maybe our first 'official' date can be the Prom. That'll give us enough time to ease her into the idea of…..us." Buffy smiled hopefully, and kissed her new lover in an attempt to ease his concerns.

"But what about us until then? I can't hold out for two months. I'm still a teenage guy."

"Oh, but that's where the training comes in," she asserted. "Yes, we'll still work out together, but when we're done for the day, we'll 'work out'." Buffy waggled her eyebrows suggestively to emphasize her point.

"Summers, you are a genius," replied Xander as he leaned in to kiss her. Soon, they were both lying down on Buffy's bed, engaged in a vigorous "work out".

"Buffy," announced her mother as she opened the bedroom door, "do you think that Xander would-oh!" Suddenly, Joyce was extremely embarrassed as her daughter and Xander hastily pulled apart (but not fast enough to prevent her from knowing just what was going on).

"Mom, could you knock?"

Joyce gave her daughter The Look. "I didn't know I had to knock when you were in here with Xander, dear." Sighing, she added, "I was going to ask if Xander wanted to stay for dinner, but I'm going to have to insist now."

The two teens grimaced as they stood up. They knew full well that this was going to lead to The Talk, and severe restrictions on Buffy/Xander Time.

* * *

 

As expected, dinner was pretty awful for Buffy and Xander. Besides the prospect of being shamed for not eating as much (because the gradual loss of her Slayer metabolism meant that she was slowly going back to human-sized portions), Buffy felt increasingly paranoid as the aforementioned Talk loomed more and more as she helped her mother prepare dinner and set the table. It was even worse once the meal actually started and she and Xander started to awkwardly pick at their food as they waited for Joyce to unload.

"So," asked Joyce, presented a supporting front to her daughter and new boyfriend, "how long have you two been together?" To Buffy, she added pointedly, "I could have sworn you didn't think of Xander like this, dear."

"Well, it started around the time I lost my powers." While not  **completely**  a lie since being normal had given her a new appreciation of just how brave her friend was, Buffy extended the time frame of her liaisons with Xander in the name of preserving Buffy/Xander Time. Luckily, Joyce didn't seem to pick up on the brief series of looks between her daughter and Xander in which the young man questioned Buffy's reasons for bending the truth. "And then, after we both got kind of pushed aside for the last apocalypse, one thing led to another, and pretty soon we were, well, you know…."

Buffy and Xander both blushed in spite of themselves.

Joyce sighed and smiled. "That's so nice, Buffy, Xander," she said, nodding to each teen as she spoke. "I don't have to start with the Sex Talk yet, do I?"

Both teenagers looked down at their plates in embarrassment, giving away the game completely.

"Buffy!" shouted Joyce as politely as possible, more from the shock than any amount of anger. Composing herself, she asked, "How long have you two been….?"

The ex-Slayer braced herself before admitting, "A couple of days."

"Well, at least you're on the Pill," remarked Joyce almost thoughtlessly. She had pretty much forced contraception onto Buffy after first finding out about Angel. "Even so, I hope you're being responsible and not ignoring school or Slaying." Joyce had trouble with that last part, as she had strongly voiced her opposition to Buffy continuing the "good fight" after losing her powers and, to her motherly mind, responsibility to the world.

"Yes, Mother," agreed Buffy contritely, successfully avoiding the even more awkward admission that she and Xander had been doing it like rabbits.

"So," asked Joyce in a complete 180-degree turn in tone, "how did Willow take the news? I know she cares a lot about you, Xander, even if she's dating Oz."

Buffy and Xander felt and looked as if they wanted to crawl under a rock and die out of shame and guilt. Buffy started to cry, and Xander looked as if he wanted to.

Joyce stood up and quickly found herself being hugged by two very frightened teenagers, as expected. In a soothing voice, she said, "If you talk to Willow and explain, I'm sure she'll understand."

Xander frowned as he let go of Buffy's Mom. "She was hurt pretty bad when she found out about me and Cordelia. It'd be even worse with Buffy."

Buffy nodded. "And then she'd blame me, and call me a liar. I've promised her so many times that I wasn't interested in Xander, and now here I am, Xander's first."

Joyce expressed a good deal of surprise at Buffy's admission, probably too much for a woman of her age. "Oh! Well…..you're going to have to tell her, sooner or later. And the longer you wait, the worse it's going to be."

Buffy knew her mother was right, but her fears still lingered. "I don't want to lose my best friend, Mom."

"If you talk to her, she'll understand," assured Buffy's mother. "If you try to hide it from her, it'll only be worse when she does find out."

Xander, remembering that it was his failure to come clean that upset Willow at least as much as his secret affair being with Cordelia, agreed. "Knowing Will, she probably already suspects that we're up to something."

After the rather disastrous conversation with Willow in the student lounge earlier, Buffy was certain that Xander was right. Now more worried than ever, she fell silent for much of the rest of dinner.

* * *

 

"Thanks for dinner, Mrs. S," said Xander as he stood by the front door.

"You're always welcome here, Xander," assured Joyce warmly. "But hurt my daughter, and I swear I will beat you with a shovel."

Xander gulped at the statement, well aware even though it had been delivered in a typically motherly tone, the threat was very real. "I-I'll keep that in mind."

"C'mon, Mom," declared Buffy with her most disarming of smiles, "Xander knows that if he hurts me, I'll hunt him down and kill him slowly." The smile took an intentional turn from "sweet" to "psycho killer" as the younger Summers woman made her own threat.

"Gee," said Xander and he backed up nervously and started to fumble around looking for the door handle, "look at the time. I really need to go."

Buffy dropped the crazy act and said, "Xander, I'm joking." After he relaxed, she added, "Mostly."

"I wasn't," declared Joyce sweetly and succinctly.

"Mom!" whined Buffy. "There will be no more threatening of my boyfriend!"

Relieved, Xander said, "Good, because I like being not threatened with bodily harm."

The former Slayer just smiled as she embraced him and whispered in his ear, "But you will like it if I tease you like I did today, right?"

Xander's face went pale as much of the blog in his body retreated to parts south. He attempted to answer, but all that came out was a burst of incoherent noises.

Buffy giggled before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips as romantically as she could muster (remembering that she had to mostly behave with her mother right beside her). "Goodnight, Xander."

"G-goodnight, Buffy," replied Xander, his face now plastered with a goofy grin as he opened the door and stumbled out to his Uncle Rory's car.

Buffy watched lovingly as Xander drove off into the night before shutting the door. With a sigh, she leaned against the door with a smile just as dopey as her lover's. Suffice to say, they both had it  **bad**.

Joyce was beside herself with joy.  **This**  was the Buffy she raised, so content and happy, not the sullen and troubled teen that she had been raising for the past three years. "I'm so happy for you, Buffy," she declared as she hugged her daughter, "and Willow will be too if you just be honest with her. Honest."

"OK, Mom," agreed Buffy as she let go of her mother, wondering just how she was going to be honest with Willow after lying to her so blatantly today.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I lied a little about the scene lifts. This part is mostly stuff from "Bad Girls", with altered tone and some different dialogue, and there are a couple other scenes getting lifted with bigger changes on the horizon.

Willow was inundated with college catalogs. Her grades were such that she could literally go anywhere on the planet to college, and boy was it apparent now, with so many of them piled on the table in the student lounge.

Suffice to say, Willow was beyond thrilled. "I'm so overwhelmed. I got in! To colleges. Real live colleges! And now they're wooing me They're pitching woo!"

Buffy and Xander shared a knowing look, barely containing their lust as the blonde said, "The wooing stage is always fun."

For what seemed like the millionth time in the past week or so, Willow gave her two best friends the dirtiest of looks.  _What the hell?_  she thought before saying, "It's weird, too. Rejection I can handle from my  **long years of training**  in the field." Willow glared tellingly at Xander as she emphasized her point, and little did she know that the guilt trip was having a big effect on him. "But this…."

"I feel your pain, Will," replied Xander, somewhat shakily. "Like, right now? I'm torn between the fast-growing industries of appliance repair and motel management."

"Xander!" scolded Buffy angrily. "Stop selling yourself short! Just because you're not Super College Student like Will, it doesn't mean you don't have a future."

"Oh, that's so cute," sneered Cordelia as she inserted herself into the conversation with her typical lack of tact. "The new couple is planning their life together as losers in love." Xander and Buffy went cold as Cordy accurately described the two as a "couple", further troubling Willow. "Most people just turn out that way, but you two are really taking charge."

"The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everybody," declared Xander loudly and somewhat nervously. "Who incidentally won't be needing a higher education when she can just market her own very successful line of Hooker Wear."

Buffy glared at Xander. He was going to pay for that low blow. Sure, Cordelia was a total bitch, but she wasn't even dressed all that badly. In fact, she looked pretty hot….. _No no_ ** _no_** _!_ thought Buffy as she scolded herself mentally.  _Getting hot for girls was just a one-time thing, and getting hot for Cordy is just sick and wrong._

"Well, Xander," fired back Cordelia as Buffy dealt with her inner turmoil, "I could dress like you but, oh. My father has a job."

"Because being investigated by the IRS is a great job," snarked Buffy loudly enough for everyone to hear, feeling a great deal of satisfaction that she had seen that little bit of news in the paper yesterday.

Now completely embarrassed, Cordelia slunk away shamefully, trying her best to avoid the questioning looks from everyone.

Xander actually felt a bit ex before changing the subject. "So. Life beyond high school. Anyone. For the love of God, please chime in."

"I hear it's nice," answered Buffy.

"It's best to graduate," replied Oz. "Because getting left back? Not the thrill ride you'd expect."

Buffy groaned before declaring, "And if I don't pass Mrs. Taggart's chem test tomorrow, I'll be taking that same thrill ride through senior year again."

"I can help," answered Willow helpfully. "Chemistry's easy. It's just like witchcraft, only there's not as much newt. What do you say? Study jam at my house? Tonight?"

Despite knowing the potential of lying, unplanned reveals, and other badness, Buffy quickly agreed. "I'm there." Then the bell rung, ending the brief respite from school for all four Scoobies. "I guess I should nag Giles, see if there's anything he wants me to help with."

"Oh, that's right," remembered Willow. "He said he needed to talk to you."

"What about? Is he all right?"

"Well," declared Willow, "he's looked better…."

* * *

Buffy understood Willow's comment almost immediately upon entering the library, as he was seated on the front of the library table sniping at a younger, even more British man. "Well, you're in no danger of finding any here," declared Giles as she entered.

"Vampires?" asked the man, proving Buffy's suspicion that he was British.

"Controlled circumstances." Noticing the new occupant of the library, Giles added, "Hello, Buffy."

"Well, hello!" declared British guy far too happily.

"New Watcher," declared the former Slayer with great contempt.

"New Watcher, confirmed Giles.

"Wesley Wyndham-Pryce," announced the Watcher as he offered his hand to shake, which Buffy did not take. Pulling it back awkwardly, Wesley continued, "It's very nice to meet you. Your exploits are rather legendary." The last part was a blatant bit of ego puffery, as the new Watcher knew very little about Buffy other than her status as an ex-Slayer.

Looking to Giles as she sat down beside him, Buffy asked, "Is he evil?"

"Evil?" answered Wesley.

"The last one was evil."

"Oh, yes, Gwendolyn Post," started Wesley before being interrupted.

"No, I meant Quentin Travers," declared Buffy coldly. "You know, the guy who took away my powers just so my Mom could almost get killed by a psychotic vampire?"

Wesley was beyond flustered now. "We-well, I'm sure that Mr. Travers meant no malice towards you or your mother. It's my understanding that he did commend your for your service as the Slayer once it was revealed that your term as Slayer had ended."

Buffy turned to Giles again. "Is he evil?"

"Not in the strictest sense."

Now rather annoyed, Wesley said, "Well, I'm glad  **that's**  cleared up. Now, I asked you here to remind you that any interference with Faith's duties as the Slayer will not be tolerated. You've been given the exceptional opportunity to move on from your sacred right, and I suggest you take advantage of it.

Buffy gave the new Watcher a condescending glare before asking Giles, "So, is there anything going on right now? Xander and I sort of skipped out on our patrol because Mom insisted he stay for dinner last night." She neglected to say just why, even though her Watcher had raised an eyebrow at the excuse.

"Other than Wesley arriving last night, no."

"Oh, so you and Boy Toy are making it official now?" Buffy and Giles turned around to face Faith, who was give Wesley a dismissive once over. "New Watcher."

Simultaneously, Buffy and Giles confirmed, "New Watcher."

Faith groaned and simply turned to Giles as she presented two jeweled swords, one long and one short, to him. "Ran into some vamps who were carrying these last night."

"These look familiar," said Giles.

"It should," declared Wesley as he pawed through the box of books on the library's table. He swiftly pulled out a book and opened it, presenting it to Giles.

"El Eliminati. Fift-"

Wesley took over in as annoying a fashion as possible. "Fifteenth Century duelist cult. Deadly in their day, their numbers dwindled in later centuries, due to an increase in anti vampire activity and a lot of pointless dueling. They eventually became the acolytes of a demon called Balthazar, who brought them to the New World. Specifically, here."

Faith was beyond bored by this point. "Is there a point here? Because I dropped out of school to avoid the boring history lectures."

Cutting to the chase, Wesley said, "Balthazar had an amulet, purported to give him strength. It's buried with a wealthy landowner named Gleaves, and I believe the few remaining Eliminati are probably looking for it. For sentimental value."

"So you want me to fetch some worthless piece of jewelry?" asked Faith, now thoroughly disgusted.

"I wouldn't call it worthless," replied Wesley, "but you are correct in that the El Eliminati cult can do nothing of value with the amulet now that Balthazar is dead. I'm sure that Mr. Giles has previously given you orders…."

Giles hemmed and hawed around the reality that he had not in fact given Faith "orders", having typically handed out tasks to Buffy. For her part, the blonde declared, "Giles always says please when he sends me on a mission. And afterwards, I get a cookie."

Faith, thoroughly nonplussed, declared, "If I see it, I'll grab it. Otherwise, I'm gone."

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" asked Buffy. "Xander can tag along, and it'll be like old times."

The Slayer laughed. "You're joking, right, B? I only give one ride to a customer, and by my count, you and Boy Toy got a couple extra spins for free. Besides, he was  **much**  better in the sack than you."

Buffy was thoroughly devastated as she watched Faith leave. Worse yet, not only did Giles know, but Quentin Travers' little sock puppet did, too. Bowing her head down, the blonde stood up and murmured, "I-I need to t-talk to Xander," before rushing off in shame.


	11. Chapter 11

Unable to find Xander (and ultimately in no condition to mount any sort of a rational search, anyways), Buffy collapsed against a tree somewhere on campus and slid to the ground, crying her eyes out. Everything was going wrong in her life, and the one good thing-Xander-had started all wrong, and could very well cost her her friendship with Willow.

Eventually, Buffy was spotted, and embraced. She smiled when she noticed that it was Xander, again playing the White Knight. "Giles told me to look for you."

Buffy moaned. "He must think I'm an enormous slut now."

"No," answered Xander, "he's worried sick that the closest thing he'll ever have to a daughter just got brutally embarrassed by Faith."

"Giles said all that?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Mostly, he stammered his way around the whole part about Faith shooting you down. And, in case you were wondering, he didn't say any of this near Willow."

Hearing that was a very small comfort to Buffy, but in this case, even small comforts helped a lot. "God, look at me," she declared as she wiped her eyes, "I must be totally pathetic, crying over Faith. I'm not even sure if the whole 'having sex with girls' thing wasn't just a combination of hormones and adrenaline or something I really want, but she still got to me."

"Well, she's also the Slayer," suggested Xander helpfully. "It can't be easy for you, being told that you don't matter because you're not one anymore."

Buffy nodded as she admitted to herself that Xander had a huge point. "Pretty much. You and Will are about the only people who haven't changed their attitudes towards me, and we both know it won't be long before she hates me forever-"

"Don't say that," interrupted Xander. "She'll understand if we just-"

"No she won't," declared a blunt and unmistakeable voice.

It was Cordelia, and boy was she ever looking smug as she towered over the two lovers.

"When she finds out about you two, you'll be lucky if she doesn't turn you into a couple of slugs." Answering their worried looks, the cheerleader said, "Oh, no, I won't tell her. It'll be much more fun for me if she finds out herself, maybe while you two are screwing in the janitor's closet, or making out in the book stacks in the library, or whatever it is you two do when you're  **not**  in class. Come to think of it, that weird Anya girl seems to hate all three of you for some reason as well, so I bet she'd enjoy it, too." Turning and leaving with a cruel sense of pride, Cordelia left the two lovers to stew in their guilt.

* * *

 "Buffy, is there something going on between you and Xander that I should know about?"

 _Well, that didn't take long,_  thought Buffy, as she had barely arrived for her study session with Willow. "Well, we  **have**  been spending a lot of time together….."  _And some of it with actual clothes on,_  Buffy added mentally.

"I've noticed," replied Willow. "You two are acting kinda weird."

 _Shit!_  thought Buffy, before declaring, "Well, he's been so good to me since I lost my powers." She blushed despite herself. "It's like he and you are the only people who aren't treating me like I'm some sort of disabled person."

"Oh my God!" shouted the redhead. "You  **are**  into him!"

"Maybe a little," Buffy admitted, now blushing furiously.  _Or a lot_.

Willow's face fell into a sullen expression. "You're thinking about asking him out, aren't you?"

Buffy noticed how Willow's mood had changed, and immediately felt awful. "Do you want me to?" she asked, hopeful that there would at least be an acceptance of her and Xander.

"I'm with Oz," declared Willow, attempting to deflect attention from the 500 pound gorilla in the room. "I really can't tell you to not date Xander if you want to."

"Will, if you don't want me to, I won't," replied Buffy, in perhaps her biggest lie to her best friend yet.

"Just let me talk to him first," asked Willow sadly.

"OK," agreed Buffy, now feeling worse than ever.

"And don't hurt him, OK?" she pleaded.

"I won't," promised the blonde, feeling no less horrible for having told the truth in this one instance.

"So," declared Willow, completely changing her disposition as she opened her chemistry book, "what do you want to go over first?"

In spite of herself, Buffy found herself smiling at Willow for the rest of the night (confusing the witch in the worst way). Buffy couldn't place it exactly, but there was something about Willow's indomitable spirit that made her feel warm inside, and it was just one more thing that the former Slayer absolutely treasured about her Wiccan friend.


	12. Chapter 12

Xander was fairly miserable. Between the chem test (which he had stayed up most of the night studying for, which was  **hard**  without Willow's help), the tons of caffeine in his system from all of the studying (and just plain nervousness over the test), and everything going on with him and Buffy (or the illicit portions, at any rate), things were not looking great for the Xan-Man. And with Buffy seemingly nowhere to be found this morning to help ease his tension (or, at least, his erection), it probably should have come as no surprise that he literally jumped a good two feet in the air when Willow tapped on his shoulder. ""GAHHH!" After regaining his composure, Xander said, "Jeez Will, you could give a guy a heart attack like that!"

"Sorry," she answered apologetically. "I didn't realize you were that hopped up on caffeine."

"Fifteen percent of my grade, Will," declared Xander. "That's make or break territory for me."

Willow nodded in agreement, since the Fluke had kinda put the kibosh on their customary study sessions, and that meant Xander was now struggling even more than in the preceding 11-and-a-half years of school. "Well, can I talk to you about something for a minute?"

"Sure," he answered with his usual smile.  _Just don't be about Buffy, just don't be about Buffy,_ ** _PLEASE_** _don't be about Buffy…._

"It's about Buffy."

 _Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap,_  thought Xander as his smile became a little more nervous. "Why, what's up?"

"Well, we were talking during our study session last night, and she admitted that she likes you."

Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "Uh, Will, I kinda figured that out about two years ago. You know, when she moved here and started saving our lives on a daily basis?"

"Not that way, silly," replied Willow as she swatted his arm lightly. "In the, 'Yes, I'll go to the Spring Fling with you,' way."

"Oh!" exclaimed Xander as he started to blush. "Yeah, that." Now grinning with a slightly far-off look, he added, "Isn't it great?"

"Yeah," declared Willow, sounding as if Xander had kicked the puppy she didn't actually own. "Tons of fun."

"What's wrong, Will?" asked Xander, knowing that something was definitely up. "You're not happy?"

"I guess," she said. "It's just that….."  _I still love you, you big jerk, even if I love Oz more._  "…what if I end up as the third wheel? I don't wanna lose my two best friends because they're busy with the smoochies and everything."

"I hear that Oz makes a great fourth wheel," answered Xander encouragingly.

As if on cue, Buffy walked up to her friends, feeling the benefits of her new care-reduced lifestyle. "Hey guys, what's up?" However, with Xander pretty happy to see her and Willow looking rather depressed, Buffy had a pretty good idea. And when the redhead nodded, she received her confirmation. "Are you sure, Will?"

"Yes," replied Willow, even if her heart was telling her otherwise, and her gut was screaming, "No!"

"Thanks, Will!" exclaimed the ex-Slayer as she hugged her best friend. After letting go, Buffy turned her attention to Xander and asked, "So, Xander, what do you say about skipping our training tonight and going out on a date at the Bronze?"

Playfully delaying his decision as Buffy looked at him with the most adorable (and sexy, as far as he was concerned) pout on her face, Xander relented by saying, "I'm sure we can make an exception this one time, but if you make a habit of it, you won't be getting anymore post-workout cookies." If Willow had any idea what Xander meant when he said "cookies", she probably  **would**  have turned him into a slug as Cordelia suggested.

Buffy's reaction, however, deflected any attention from the comment. Namely, she shouted, " **Squee**!" at the top of her lungs before gleefully latching herself onto Xander's arm. It was positively adorable in its own cracked way. Thankfully for Willow, the bell rang, and it was time for their chem test.

* * *

 "I can't believe this!" shouted Buffy over the usual noise at the Bronze as she pointed at Faith, who was oozing sex as she danced with some guys (and at least one girl, Buffy noted bitterly). It was almost as if the universe was openly conspiring against her and Xander.

"Forget her," declared Xander as he wrapped his girlfriend up in his arms. "There are plenty of people out there who know just how awesome you are."

"Yeah, well I'm not quite ready to share you yet," replied Buffy before she kissed Xander warmly. "Besides, I'm not sure if there's a woman out there that can meet my exacting standards."

"Now you're starting to sound like Cordy," joked Xander. The comment earned him an extremely hard smack to his arm. "Hey! No fair!"

"You're lucky I don't have my Slayer strength anymore," groused Buffy. "Comparing me to Cordelia will  **not**  be tolerated."

Xander opened his mouth to respond, but both he and Buffy were startled by yet another intruder to their date. "Buffy?"

The ex-Slayer started to instinctively pull away from Xander, but thought differently of it.  _Oh, yeah,_ ** _I_** _dumped_ ** _him_** _._  Instead, she grabbed on tighter as she scolded her ex-boyfriend. "Angel, I'm kind of on a date, here. Can't you bother Faith?"

"I'd rather not," declared Angel as he uncomfortably glanced at the brunette Slayer grinding against two guys. "And you're going out with  **Xander**? Seriously?"

Buffy was definitely getting upset now. "You're seriously going to complain about who  **I**  date? After all that time you spent with Spike and Dru? And Darla?"

Angel had no point but to concede on Buffy's point. "Xander, Buffy, I apologize." As if that apology wasn't a shock enough, Angel extended his hand to the young man in a show of contrition, which a stunned Xander accepted. And with that out of the way, he returned to his original reason for seeking out Buffy. "Anyways, this involves you, too. It's about Balthazar."

"That new Watcher guy said he was dead."

"Well, he's wrong, because word on the street puts him in the packing warehouse on Devereau. He's looking for-"

"That amulet thingy, right?" asked Buffy. "Faith got it already."

"I know," answered Angel, "I spoke to Giles. He said that she gave it to-"

"Buffy!"

Like a bad penny, Wesley arrived, annoying as ever. Giving up on the pretense of having a first date with Xander tonight, Buffy got off his lap and sat down beside him. "Wow, speak of the really annoying person."

"Well, you're certainly giving me a run for my money," declared the Watcher, earning a harsh glare from Xander. And Buffy could have sworn that her boyfriend actually growled slightly when Wesley tried unsuccessfully to pull her aside. "Might I remind you that you are no longer-"

"Oh, shove it," announced Xander. "Buffy didn't ask for this destiny, and she certainly didn't ask to be neutered by your boss because she and the G-Man have their own way of doing things."

Wesley was totally offended by Xander's outburst. "Well, I never-"

"Where's the amulet?" asked Angel insistently.

"And just who are you?"

"He's a friend," answered Buffy. "Do you have it?"

"It's somewhere very safe," replied Wesley stiffly, right before Buffy reached into his inside jacket pocket, pulling out the amulet. "How did you-"

"It pooches your jacket," declared the ex-Slayer before handing the amulet off to Angel.

"Now hold on a minute."

Scolding the rookie Watcher, Angel said, "Walking around with this thing is like wearing a target."

"And it's not like you don't already scream, 'Bite me,' to the vamps already," added Xander with a fair amount of condescension.

Buffy gave her boyfriend a quick "back off" look before asking Angel, "You'll put it somewhere that's actually safe?"

"I'll do it now."

"We're gonna do some recon on Balthazar." Turning to Xander, Buffy added, "We better arm up first."

Wesley was apoplectic. "OK, people? Balthazar is dead. Am I the only one who remembers that?" The only acknowledgement he received were three pairs of eyes rolling.

"You're not bringing Faith?" questioned Angel, which merely earned him an annoyed look from his ex. "Well, be careful."

" **We**  will," answered Xander, letting his animosity towards the souled vampire show before he and Buffy departed.

* * *

 At the warehouse, a now well-armed Buffy, Xander, and Giles regarded Balthazar and his band of toadies with something less than enthusiasm. There were about a dozen vampires, and one extremely overweight and disturbingly naked demon inside. Luckily, the demon was kind enough to be sitting in a huge tub, obscuring his lower body from view.

"Well, that's something we'll never be able to unsee," declared Buffy with a grimace.

"Could be worse," replied Xander. "His bathtub there could be transparent."

"I didn't need that mental image, Xand," fired back Buffy, now in dire need of brain bleach. "I wonder if there's another way in."

"There's an entrance on the roof," announced Angel, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Good," answered the former Slayer. "Now if Willow and Oz would just show up, the odds will be even….ish."

"You called?" asked Oz as he and Willow ran to them.

"I'm on a roll!" said Buffy, in awe of her sudden string of luck.

"Can I make a suggestion?" asked Xander, with a lasvicious grin on his face. "It's always good to 'share', you know…."

Buffy's face went pale when she realized what he was talking about. "Alexander…..Harris!"

"His middle name is 'Lavelle'," declared Willow helpfully.

Buffy started laughing. Xander glared at Willow. All in all, a good time was had until Buffy calmed down. "Willow, you and Oz go up top with Angel, while I take Giles and 'Lavelle' here through the front door."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" asked Xander.

"Nope!"

* * *

 Inside, Buffy made her presence known quickly, first by dusting a vamp using her crossbow, and then by loudly announcing, "Hi, my name is Buffy, and I'll be your hostess for the evening. Would you guys prefer the death, the death, or may I humbly suggest, the  **death**?"

"Slayer!" hissed Balthazar angrily.

"Oh, I love it when they call me that!" As if to no one in particular, Buffy shouted, " **NOW**!" and suddenly, two crossbow bolts flew down from a above, dusting two more of the El Eliminati.

"What are you waiting for?!" screamed the obese demon. " **KILL THEM**!"

Buffy held her own in her first major battle since losing her powers, staking one of Balthazar's men, but still she found herself backed into a corner by two vamps. She was saved, however, by Faith, who had joined the fray at some undetermined point in time. Faith swiftly dispatched them, and sneered in a show of superiority. "You just don't get it, do you, B?  **I'm**  the Slayer. You're just a pathetic groupie."

To her credit, Buffy glared back, but she was ultimately distracted by Angel, whose head was currently being crushed slowly by Balthazar. Looking up, she noticed a light fixture hanging above the creature…..with the wiring leading right to it. With as strong a yank as she could muster, Buffy barely managed to dislodge the fixture, frying the demon and saving Angel's unlife, and causing the remaining El Eliminati to beat feet.

Everyone gathered around the tank, and regarded Balthazar, who looked like a half-cooked (and extra fatty) ham. When his eyes opened suddenly, Buffy jumped. "You think you've won?" taunted the dying demon. "When he rises…..you'll wish I had killed you all." There would be no further answer, however, as Balthazar was most certainly dead.

"That was pleasantly cryptic," said Oz, breaking the silence.

"We'll figure it out," declared Buffy confidently, not noticing that Faith had rolled her eyes at the blonde before leaving in a huff.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while, but I've gotten over my minor bit of writer's block re: what to do with Faith in this story (or, more honestly, how to do it). So, yay me.

Buffy successfully snuck into her house, having spent most of the night sleeping with Xander after a dual patrol-and-training session (and this time the sleeping was actual sleep for once), but paused before going into the bathroom upstairs. For whatever reason, the light from the television in her mother's bedroom caught Buffy's eye, and she crept in to take a look.

"…..fishermen discovered the body today, the victim of a brutal stabbing…."

Watching both the TV and her mother, Buffy was oddly transfixed by the news of this seemingly non-Hellmouthy news story. That weird feeling only increased with the revelation that it was Sunnydale's Deputy Mayor, Allan Finch, who had been killed, and with the Mayor's stern promise of retribution.

"Oh, honey," replied Joyce, finally noticing that Buffy was there. "You're home…." Luckily, she was too preoccupied with the horrible news on the TV to scold her daughter. "It's just terrible-isn't it?"

Buffy, still taken aback by the news herself, could only nod silently.

* * *

 

That morning, Buffy passed Cordelia on the way to the library, and paused as she was completely ignored by Queen C, who looked starstruck. "What's her deal?" thought Buffy aloud as she entered the library to find a decidedly tense situation.

"Why do you insist on ignoring this?"

Buffy groaned. Wesley. And he was upset, probably about Balthazar. Despite the disgust, she walked into the library and watched Giles and Wesley spar verbally.

"It's clearly an act of human malice," argued Giles. "I don't see why you seem intent on wasting Faith's or even Buffy's-" The librarian paused as he noticed that Buffy was now present, and flashed her a fatherly smile as he greeted her. "Oh, hello, Buffy."

Buffy couldn't help but smile in a daughterly fashion as she returned the greeting. "Hi." However, she was all business as she glanced at Wesley before asking, "What's the sitch?"

"Deputy Mayor Finch has…."

"…..been murdered," finished the former Slayer. Explaining herself, Buffy said, "Mom was watching it on the news when I got back from Xander's house. She was pretty upset about it. But not, 'Let's burn Buffy and Willow at the stake upset.' 'Cause that would be awkward to go through that again."

"Yes, I can see how that would be uncomfortable," agreed Giles, remembering his own encounter with MOO. "How are, uh….things, with Xander, anyhow?"

Buffy couldn't help but swoon a little at the mention of her boyfriend. With a far-off look and a goofy grin on her face, she said, "Wonderf-" However, Buffy quickly snapped back into the present and said with a warm smile, "Good. It's really good."

"I'm happy to hear that," answered Giles. "And how about Willow? Does she-"

Buffy cut off her former Watcher with a nervous fit of energy. "She's OK!" But her expression faded after catching Giles' look of skepticism. "She doesn't know about…..everything, though."

"I'm far from one to be giving relationship help, but you know as well as I do how secrets have a habit of…."

"…not staying secret?" finished Buffy. "I know, it's just that I don't want to lose Will. I promised her I wasn't going to steal away Xander from her. Multiple times."

"I don't doubt you, Buffy," replied Giles, "but Willow has chosen to be with Oz, so I'm sure-"

"As interesting as this all must be, I think we should be concentrating our efforts on solving the murder of Mr. Finch."

Buffy and Giles shared a quick look in which they communicated their mutual contempt for Wesley before glaring right at him. "And if you're so determined to solve this crime, Watson, why don't you have Faith Sherlock out the answer while the rest of the Scoobies fight some real evil?"

"I have a better idea: why don't you and your groupies get out of my way?"

Buffy whirled around to face Faith, who looked upset enough to punch through the checkout counter. But, there was something else that she just couldn't place, something…off. "Faith, I'm just trying to..."

"For the last time, B," snarled Faith. "Get. Off. My. Back. I don't need you or your little friends to help me. I'm the Slayer, not you."

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Wesley reiterated, "Faith, I must insist that you look into the murder of Mr. Finch. Be it 'Natural' or 'Super' in nature, I want to know."

Faith seemed to freeze for the briefest of moments, which caught the attention of Buffy and Giles, who shared a glance before listening to her shaky reply. "Yeah, I got it. Find the killer, save the day."

Wesley caught onto something wrong with his Slayer, and asked with something approaching compassion, "Is everything alright, Faith?"

"You know me," she answered, her voice wavering just enough to cause Buffy to worry, "Five by five."

"Alright, then," declared the new Watcher after Faith had turned around and headed towards the door.

While Wesley returned to whatever it was that he normally did, the former Slayer and Watcher shared a worried glance.


End file.
